Dear Kai, Blaize, and Pepper (Birth Order),
A few days ago, was the last official day of or your mother and father’s marriage.
Kai, I heard you once describe to others that “your parent’s didn’t get along”. Since you were 3 years old when you said it, I could not debate you. Today you told me you were Superman and their was no debating it. You are!
Perhaps you will read this one day. When you you do, I want you to know, that you mother and father got along well. In fact, if we were to measure the time we got along vs didn’t – We could safely say that 97%+ of the time we got along.
I have 1000s of pictures and videos to share with you three. Please ask me if you’d like to see your parents “getting along”. Hours of data of getting along that is beautiful to watch and tell stories of.
Also, ask some of our old friends like Molly, Heather, Chris and Andy, Ask Mimi, Grandpa Mike, Grandpa Dave and Mary of your mother and father to tell stories of times together and the fun we all had.
Kai, Blaize and Pepper, I’m grateful for your mother, meeting her, making magic and all three of your as well as the 5 or so years your mother and I shared.
These are the memories I think of when I think of your mother.
We met on Match.com and fell in love right away. Our 1st date was at Townshend’s Tea on Alberta Street in Portland, Oregon in April of 2008. We played cribbage while Stanley ( your 1st dog) sat below our seats. It was fun and we giggled.
The 1st year was a whirlwind. We traveled a bit.
Hawaii (2x), San Diego, New Zealand, Disney World, New York City, DC, Korea, Australia to name the places I remember.
About a year after we met, I asked your mother to marry me just beyond the breaking surf of Noosa in Queensland Australia.
We planned a simple (cost about 2,000 USD) and small (16 people) wedding in Kauai. We were off to the races and excited.
Hit the Target (Kai)
A little bit before the wedding, we were ready to try and make a baby together. VOILA! I hit the target right away and Kai came into our lives in late April 2010. Your mother was a happy pregnant woman and loved being a momma with Kai and all that it entailed.
Kai, you were a breastfeeding maniac. Both of us were so happy that you could gain sustenance in this way. You frequently wanted to cuddle while feeding with mamma.
One time, your Mother was away for a long day. You just would not have breast milk from the bottle. It had to be the real thing! We both enjoyed and appreciated the beauty in that.
The 3 of us laughed, played and grew up together for a few years. We wandered around the USA, New Zealand a few more times and had lots of adventures when you were 1 and 2 years old.
Hit the Target (Blaize and Pepper)
In May of 2012, Kai, you were about 2 and 1/2…I hit the target again! This time, the fertilized egg split after a few days and we had identical twins (Baby A = Pepper and Baby B = Blaize). It was a challenging pregnancy for your mother and I, but in the end, Blaize and Pepper are just fine.
The pressure, lack of sleep, and having 3 kids under 3 was a lot that 1st year of the twins life. Perhaps I added to the chaos as I was launching a 1st of it’s kind travel software/service and in process of buying a company.
That 1st year of the twins life, was the most sleepless year of my life. For 5 months (April through September 2013) – I was the night-time nanny for Blaize and Pepper so your mother could get some sleep. She was producing milk for the twins, and caring for you Kai. I took care of the twins at night, managed your school and did a little bit of work during the day. It was a major challenge for your mother and father. In the end, our relationship, though full of good times and results – was not strong enough to withstand this challenge and we decided that being together was not the best path.
I filed for Divorce on Dec 31, 2013 and then your mother did the same on January 7, 2014.
More of my favorite memories with your Mother
– participating in the spin classes that she taught. Your mother loved teaching and I think was in flow and happy when she taught. I hope you get to experience it one day with her.
– the process of making the babies, growing them in her womb, me caring for her and the excitement of it all… are all just awesome memories.
– the test when we learned we were having twins. I was ecstatic. A 2 for 1 special!
– As you know, your mother is a workout queen. She did it almost everyday we were together, even when 8 months pregnant and beyond. What an inspiration. Her dedication still inspires me today to get off my arse and MOVE!
– good clean fun. your mother laughs, and could be silly with me like no one else. I have so many memories of just laughing, playing cards, and just having fun without any drinking, drugs or anything. I’ll always love that about her.
– I was giving an speech about the benefits of long-term travel in 2008. BootsnAll had grown quite a bit and I was trying to be more professional and uptight, versus myself and it was not my best talk. She told me after..”Sean..be yourself. You are funny and interesting. That is good enough”.
This was the best I ever felt in the context of our relationship. At that moment, I felt loved for who I am. I still take her advice everyday, just be myself.
– Stand Up Paddleboarding in New Zealand. Your mother and I would do an 8 km paddle just beyond the surf. We were both happy and exhilarated to be in nature, active and having fun together.
– Yoga was a big part of our relationship. We did it together at home, in classes, retreats and encouraged and helped each other do it with you little ones around. I remember a few special moments, after a class when you mother and I were in shivansana, we would lightly hold hands for the last few minutes of class. Special moments for sure!
– Running in forest park. We probably ran wildwood trail 100 times…and almost always had a blast. It was always fun to sweat together. Looking back..After the twins came, continuing todo this became difficult!
– not a drinker or drug doer- I mentioned this before…but I love this part of your mother. She might have a glass of wine or 1 IPA. She took and continues to take care of herself. She’s got a goody-goody part to her that I love.
Our relationship did end with a little bit of drama. The drama made a sad time, even more challenging for me, and my guess more challenging for your mother as well.
Even so, today, I only think of the good times and how we laughed and made magic.
You mother is a beautiful woman, kind and a loving soul, and a wonderful mom. I’m grateful to have shared some time and space with her.
I wish your mother well, send good vibes to her everyday and hope that the next partner she finds, is a better fit for what she needs. By the time you read this, I hope that this has happened if that is what she wants.
Kai, Blaize and Pepper – I am here to talk when you are ready. I have more good memories to share about you three, your mother, and I from before you would remember.
With Love and Gratitude.