Is this it?!

Today’s prompt is giving advice, on getting unstuck.

One thing I’ve learned, is to be careful giving advice. Often times, doing an experience share is more powerful than giving advice – which is often presumptuous and assumes that I know what needs to be done for that person.

How I get unstuck

1 – I don’t make excuses and do SOMETHING, ANYTHING now to get unstuck.

I made a top 3 goals for 2015 that I stuck on my wall. 1 personal goal, 1 business goal, and 1 family goal. Everyday I look at that goal, and think, what is the 1 most important thing I can do to move that goal forward. For example, I have some business growth goals: so when I feel like I could do more or perhaps “stuck” on that goal, I’ll take 5 minutes to do SOMETHING to move the ball forward. Today, I sent off 2 biz dev emails to folks that I can and should develop significant business from.

2 – I share stucks everyday with people who care

Every person at BootsnAll/AirTreks, has a Daily Huddle. At the Daily Huddle, each person shares:

A) Their #1 priority for the day (specifics)
B) If they are stuck

Just sharing it, often helps that person get unstuck, and when I have a stuck, it helps me too.

3 – I make a plan to get unstuck

Before I got divorced, I made a plan (rough draft) for my wife at the time, and I to “heal” and unstuck our relationship. The plan aligned with my core values and I felt good about the plan if she would work on it with me.

She decided not to, and that quickly led to our divorce. Which might sound like a sad thing, but it wasn’t that sad for me because I was getting unstuck in the marriage. Both paths (Heal or Divorce) were getting “unstuck” and ultimately an awesome thing for all concerned.

Day 5: What advice would you give for getting unstuck? via the Your Turn Challenge

I am a father of three kids, aged 4 and below as well as a divorced/separated for over one year. Before the separation, I stayed at home with the kids every day.

I am also a co-founder of an Internet travel startup and CEO of a company with 30+ colleagues. I don’t tell you this because I think I am great, simply because I am Internet enabled with devices from smart phones, iPads, wifi enabled monitors/TV’s all over the place with pressures on my time and how I spend it. My life can feel like I have more things todo than time, probably like yours.

The one key to being present with children is to turn off or put away all devices. Look at the children and engage. It’s become a daily meditation: my time with my kids. I have the kids 50% of the days and am lucky to be able to focus on just them, when they are with me.

5 key tips to being present with children

1) Turn off or put away all smartphones, iPads, tv etc. for as much of the day as possible.
2) Focus your attention on the child and what is important to them. I’m lucky, in that my kids love to dance and be active.
3) When you find your mind wandering, or perhaps getting a bit bored, think about the limited time you have on this planet and with your children. Time flies and they will be adults one day and just not pay attention to you the parent as much. Be grateful for the time that you have now. A key to being present in general.
4) Plan your time, especially with less than 5 years old since they need more attention. Have several activities ready to go when their interests wane. I use art, cooking, dancing, cuddling, blocks and building, and going to the park as my standbys. This keep the kids interested and engaged as they can have short attention spans!
5) When 5 minutes of peace does happen, and they are reading a book quietly and not all over your grill, I take that time for myself to recoup, or often time, get my daily dump in. This is much more injoyable without my twins wanting to be in the bathroom at the same time to brush their teeth etc.

Bonus Idea
I ask myself, am I weak, or am I strong today? Can I focus and not “multi-task” with other devices when I am with my children? The thought of me setting a bad example for them, scares me away from being weak and wanting to “check messages” or some other thing that gives me that short rush.

Just like ourselves, we watched what our Parents did, and ignored what they said. Actions speak, Words are cheap.

Day 4: Teach us something that you do well. Via the Your Turn Challenge

How we educate our children could and should be so much better than it currently is.

As Seth so eloquently shared in his free ebook “stop stealing dreams”, the education system that I grew up with, taught and trained me to follow directions and work in a factory.

2 skills that don’t have as much value as they historically did. Ouch.

Now that I have 3 kids, I think and am aware of this challenge and change even more. Will they go to a traditional school and just get an average education?

Or will they use all the newest tools and strategies for learning that teach children how to learn and that it can be fun versus a discipline that is boring?

I will do my best to share this with them. Today, I feel like I have more tools and resources to learn and improve myself and lot in life than I ever had previously. The Internet can do that.

If there is one segment of education that I want to change the most, and perhaps I may have the opportunity to be a catalyst in this, is long-term travel as a part of a formal education.

A trip around the world for 1 year is easily doable for 20,000 USD….which is much less expensive than many US universities AND it perhaps more valuable in teaching our children.

How do I know this? I have helped enable 100,000s of young people travel long term. The feedback we here is unanimous in that this is perhaps the best educational experience money can buy.

Change, let’s change traditional education and make it so that an around the world trip is on every resume.

Wanna learn more? sign-up for more information via a non-profit that I am starting, The Travel Access Project.

Day 3: Tell us about something that you think should be improved. Via the Your Turn Challenge

Day 2: Tell us about something that’s important to you.

Freedom:

– to make my own choices
– to think how I want or need to think
– of choice for me and for all others as well
– to choose my path, and but no others
– to move around the planet
– as long as they don’t encroach on other’s freedoms
– to say “no” or to choose different from what others think
– to speak and share
– to learn and try
– to go

via the Your Turn Challenge

I’ve been reading Seth Godin since 1998/9 or so, I think. I remember reading him or about him before he had a blog. Books, maybe some articles somewhere. Maybe it was his permission marketing book.

He seems like a bloke that I’d like to spend time with and/or be friends with.

I bought 100 copies of his book “It’s your turn” when he asked me to. (Yeah, that blog post he wrote, felt like he was asking just me)

I’m doing the challenge because I want to write more.

I want to not be afraid to write/share, but I am.

It feels like a good idea todo it with a group associated with a prolific writer and excellent communicator like Mr. Godin.

Happy New Year to you and onwards!

I read the book a few months ago and shared it here. Now Seth did a 17 minute TED Talk on it. Take 17 minutes and watch this and ask yourself, “What is the purpose of school?”