March 21st, 2005

Irish Jokes

I was hanging out with some folks on Friday night and PConnolly told these jokes with a perfect Irish accent.  We laughed our tits off… enjoy.

Bless me Father, for I have
sinned.  I have been with a loose woman.  The priest asks, "Is
that you, little Timmy Shaughnessy?
        Yes, Father, it is.
        And, who was the woman you were
        I can’t be tellin’ you,
Father.  I don’t want to ruin her reputation.
        Well, Timmy, I’m sure to find out
sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O’Malley?
        I cannot say.
        Was it Patricia Kelly?
        I’ll never tell.
        Was it Sheilah O’Brien?
        I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.
        Was it Kathleen Morgan?
        My lips are sealed.
        Was it Fiona Grogan, then?
        Please, Father, I cannot tell you.
        The priest sighs in
frustration.  You’re a steadfast lad, Timmy Shaughnessy, and I admire
that.  But you’ve sinned, and you must atone.  You cannot attend
church mass for three months.  Be off with you now.
        Timmy walks back to his pew.
His friend Sean slides over and whispers,  What’d you get?
        Three month’s vacation and five good

"Water to Wine"

An Irish priest is driving down to


and gets stopped for speeding


. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an
empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He’s done it


"The Brothel"

Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel
across the street.
They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said,

"Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad."

Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said,

"Aye, ’tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin’ victim to temptation

Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen
said, "What a terrible pity…one of the girls must be dying.

Irish Predicament

Drunk Ole Mulvihill (From the Northern Irish Clan) staggers into a
Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the Ole just sits

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles, "ain’t no use knockin, there’s no paper on this side


Irish Last Request

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady’s after his Sunday morning service,
and she’s in tears.

He says, "So what’s bothering you, Mary my dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband passed away last

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, did he have any
last requests?"

She says, "That he did, Father…"

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

She says, "He said, ‘Please Mary, put down that damn gun!’

11 Responses to “Irish Jokes”

  1. Popular Cell Phone Search

    Search by part number, product, keyword or manufacturer … As for the most popular cell phone form factor, the flip phone was the clear winner, …

  2. Music: Music Archive, Songs, Music Videos, Artists and More

    Find music archives, video archives, live music and more when you visit … You can enable both via your browser’s preference settings. MUSIC SEARCH artists …

  3. Standard Furniture – Search Results

    Furniture Search Search for products by completing Classification and Product Type You may refine your search further by Style and Material if you wish. …

  4. Music Store Sells Over One Million Songs in First Week

    Apple has created the first complete solution for the digital music age?you can purchase your favorite music online at the iTunes Music Store, mix your …

  5. Controlla la tua posta dalla Webmail!

    Complete local and regional news, local business directory including restaurants, local classifieds and Central Illinois information.

  6. What People Search For – Most Popular Keywords

    Millions of searches are conducted each day on popular search engines by people

    all around the world. What are they looking for? A number of major search …

  7. Internet Catalogue Home Page

    The Internet Resources section is a catalogue of selected, quality Web sites for students, researchers and practitioners, covering business, management and …

  8. MP3 Search says:

    MP3 Search – Find MP3’s

    Search and find MP3 sound files. … Search is AND search. Tip: Database Refreshed every 3 hours. Come back if you cant find something now. …

  9. Any Search Info – Directory Search Engine

    Directory Search Engine using the Open Directory Project’s RDF data dumps and added staff-edited content from local web directory submissions…

  10. MP3 Music – Peoplesound

    Search our database for your favourite music across the musical spectrum. Start to download free MP3s here. Most Recent Peoplesound Chart ? Free Downloads …

  11. Center-Casino Search

    Use the Gaming Guide search engine to search for a land-based, riverboat, Indian, or online casino in the United States or other countries. …

Is this it?! Sean Keener's Personal Blog

1 (503) 528-1005

© 2011 BootsnAll Travel Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved.