Shopping Trip - Joke

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A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third everything had just been reduced to ... [read on]

Irish Jokes

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I was hanging out with some folks on Friday night and PConnolly told these jokes with a perfect Irish accent.  We laughed our tits off… enjoy.

IRISH BOY IN CONFESSION
      
Bless me Father, for I have
sinned.  I have been with a loose woman.  The priest asks, "Is
that you, little Timmy Shaughnessy?
        Yes, Father, it is.
        And, who was the woman you were
with?
        I can’t be tellin’ you,
Father.  I don’t want to ruin her reputation.
        Well, Timmy, I’m sure to find out
sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O’Malley?
        I cannot say.
        Was it Patricia Kelly?
        I’ll never tell.
        Was it Sheilah O’Brien?
        I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.
        Was it Kathleen Morgan?
        My lips are sealed.
        Was it Fiona Grogan, then?
        Please, Father, I cannot tell you.
        The priest sighs in
frustration.  You’re a steadfast lad, Timmy Shaughnessy, and I admire
that.  But you’ve sinned, and you must atone.  You cannot attend
church mass for three months.  Be off with you now.
        Timmy walks back to his pew.
His friend Sean slides over and whispers,  What’d you get?
        Three month’s vacation and five good
leads

… [read on]

Texas Surgeons Joke

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Texas Surgeons

Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed:

One of them said, “I’m the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later he ... [read on]

Welfare Joke

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A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, “Hi . . . You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job”.

The social worker behind the counter says, “Your ... [read on]