I was hanging out with some folks on Friday night and PConnolly told these jokes with a perfect Irish accent. We laughed our tits off… enjoy.
IRISH BOY IN CONFESSION
Bless me Father, for I have
sinned. I have been with a loose woman. The priest asks, "Is
that you, little Timmy Shaughnessy?
Yes, Father, it is.
And, who was the woman you were
I can’t be tellin’ you,
Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.
Well, Timmy, I’m sure to find out
sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O’Malley?
I cannot say.
Was it Patricia Kelly?
I’ll never tell.
Was it Sheilah O’Brien?
I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.
Was it Kathleen Morgan?
My lips are sealed.
Was it Fiona Grogan, then?
Please, Father, I cannot tell you.
The priest sighs in
frustration. You’re a steadfast lad, Timmy Shaughnessy, and I admire
that. But you’ve sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend
church mass for three months. Be off with you now.
Timmy walks back to his pew.
His friend Sean slides over and whispers, What’d you get?
Three month’s vacation and five good